


Reflective

by itbeajen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Mutual Pining, Reader Insert, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 21:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15738015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbeajen/pseuds/itbeajen
Summary: Someone’s gotta sacrifice it all for the better of the world. They just wish it didn’t have to be you.





	Reflective

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!! or any of the characters that are mentioned. I am not making any profit from this fic and I write purely for the love of the characters. Haikyuu!! is the property of Haruichi Furudate.

“Why the hell did you agree to the plan?!” 

 

His voice was laced with anger and frustration, whether it was towards her or not, she didn’t know, she wouldn’t know. He sighed and glanced up. He hated the way she stood there so calmly as she let him scream and yell in her face. Her head slightly tilted to the side and she asked, “What, did you think Tooru would willingly offer himself up for the plan?”

 

“It’s suicidal!”

 

“That’s exactly why I exchanged a glance with him before agreeing, Hajime.” 

 

She shifted her attention away from him to resume tampering with her equipment. The bracelets, the light armor that protected her chest and back, the gauntlets and the greaves were all scratched up and dented from the various fights she survived. They spoke volumes of her expertise as both a magician and a close combat fighter, but that didn’t put him at ease at all.

 

“You’re not supposed to be on the front lines.”

 

“And  _ you’re _ not allowed to be lecturing me when I’m technically higher rank than you,” she retorted with a snap. Her frustration that Iwaizumi didn’t understand why she chose this position - as much as she didn’t want to - left her short of words. Words that she couldn’t manage to salvage as she risked a glance at one of her few good friends left in the army. Too many of her former classmates and comrades have fallen in this battle, and if this is supposedly the last one - she’d prefer to be the one to end it all, as long as it meant she would save the two left. 

 

Iwaizumi sighed. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself from further exploding at her. It wasn’t working, nothing was. He couldn’t clear his thoughts of the image of her death, and he muttered, “Why?”

 

There was a pause, and the silence fell over like a heavy blanket, suffocating both of them. Even though there was chattering and metal clanking against metal echoing through the grand halls of Seijou Castle, it felt as though all of it became white noise - becoming one with the background and nothing else mattered besides her and him. 

 

His gaze was heavy, she could feel it, and he knew she was starting to feel uncomfortable. She couldn’t avoid it anymore and slowly she turned to face him. With her armor completely equipped and sturdily strapped onto her, she resembled a God of War. Her scythe-like staff shone in the dim sunlight that filtered through the barrack windows, its glint reflecting on the side of her face, revealing the softer features that didn’t quite belong on a battlefield.

 

“To protect you and Tooru.” 

 

“ **Don’t fuck with me, [Name]-** ”

 

“Tooru isn’t equipped for this fight, his magic capacity is still in the drains thanks to his fantastic spell the other day. He’s going to be exhausted for weeks, Hajime,” she slowly reasoned and then sighed, “Besides, we can’t have you on the front lines either.  _ You’re _ still injured.” 

 

She gestured to his right arm that was currently wrapped in bandages and she smirked, “Can’t really do much protecting when you’re in that state now can ya?”

 

“Why you-”

 

“Oh, calm yourself, you know I jest,” she lightly tapped his other shoulder. It was only then that he noticed the sad smile on her face and she softly mumbled, “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t-”   
  


“No, let me. I’m sorry I’m selfishly choosing this option. I know Tooru doesn’t want this for me either, he had scolded me right after the meeting earlier.”

 

“And Shitty-kawa still let you?!” 

 

“Well, he knows. He knows that he doesn’t really have any other choice. There is no one else you two can rely on but me.”

 

Iwaizumi glanced over her and then softly whispered, “Come back safely.”

 

The heavy lump in her throat seemed to choke away any words she wanted to say. Instead, she hung her head low and nodded as lightly as possible. As long as she kept up this facade, the others won’t know - her unit and the soldiers that are following her into this last battle won’t have to know about how insecure she felt. They didn’t have to know that even with her armor on and layers of chainmail beneath, she didn’t feel prepared. Her fingers trembled ever so slightly as she gripped her staff, but her grip tightened.  _ I can’t show my vulnerability now. Not now. _

 

She lifted her head confidently and shot Iwaizumi the brightest smile she could muster and answered, “I’ll return home safely, Hajime.” She gave him one last farewell before turning away from him, and he returns it with his own. But he didn’t have the heart to tell her - he didn’t have the ability to stop her and to tell her that it was okay to be scared. He didn’t know how to comfort her right before impending doom.

 

And he didn’t know how to tell her that her smile was so sad - it was practically a grimace.

 

***

 

Three days.

 

The battle had only lasted three days.

 

But it was exactly like how Oikawa had predicted. The casualties were minimal, the war was over, and peace was finally here. The darkness has been pierced by the light from above and they no longer had to witness as their kingdom fell apart to the dark magic that coursed through the lands. 

 

Oikawa approached the small study room that he once shared with her. It was empty, devoid of any life, as though no one had been here previously. While his small desk is still cluttered with documents and opened tomes and books, with feather quills and ink all over the table - the table beside his was neatly organized. It was as though its owner had known that they wouldn’t be returning any time soon. It was as though they knew they wouldn’t be coming back. 

 

His fingertips slowly traced over the desk and murmured, “I should have stopped you.”

 

“Too late for regrets now.”

 

Oikawa’s head immediately turned to the door. Iwaizumi leaned against the door frame, there was a frown on his lips and he asked, “How are you holding?”

 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Oikawa weakly laughed. It was dry, devoid of any actual laughter, and he stopped. His gaze turned to the empty desk and he mumbled, “After all, you loved her.”

 

“You did too,” Iwaizumi responded almost immediately. Their eyes locked and Oikawa shook his head, “No, I didn’t love [Name] like you did.”

 

Iwaizumi flinched, as though just hearing her name hurt. Oikawa grimaced slightly and weakly mumbled an apology before sighing. He sat down in his own desk, and turned to face the window that was always slightly opened. She had left it that way, cause she knew Oikawa would never get up to open his, and she liked the way the wind would gently play with her hair and tickle her awake when she thought she couldn’t stay awake any longer while studying tactics and strategies.

 

She kept it open to look out into the starry nights and softly murmur about how lucky they were to still be alive. To be alive long enough to witness the end of an era. She would keep it open to see if Iwaizumi would be practicing outside, and so she and Tooru could mercilessly tease their friend who wasn’t quite equipped to be a mage. 

 

Iwaizumi followed Oikawa’s gaze and he mumbled, “She said she did it to protect us.”

 

“I know,” Oikawa laid his head on his desk. He lazily pushed his stuff back, careful not to drop any. His gaze never left her abandoned table, and even though the dust was starting to collect on it even with the short amount of time, he could still remember how she’d spend every morning gently wiping the dust off her desk and the bookshelves. How she’d pull back the curtains and greet Oikawa, ‘good morning’ with a bright smile. 

 

But he’d never forget how she’d fondly gaze out the window to announce that Iwaizumi was on the way. Oikawa couldn’t forget the way she looked at his childhood friend, and how he returned it to her. Both of them were so blind, so stupidly in love, yet so restricted and forbidden to attain happiness. A sigh escapes the mage’s lips and he mumbled, “I shouldn’t have let her go.”

 

“I wish I stopped her too, but no one else could have done it. No one else… had the ability to call upon the stars like she did,” Iwaizumi mumbled. Oikawa shook his head and mumbled, “I did.”

 

“She wouldn’t have let you.”

 

“But I should have!” Oikawa cried out in frustration. His eyes widened at his outburst and he mumbled, “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

 

“She told me… the two of us were destined for greatness. She saw it in a dream,” Iwaizumi approached her table and sat on his usual chair that would face her. He didn’t come by often, but when he did, he’d spend hours scolding her for neglecting her health. He’d spend those hours gently distracting her, all the while making sure her health was accounted for. Though it wasn’t a lie that he also did it to see her smiling face, to just see her send that brilliant smile to him again.

 

“Us? Greatness?  _ I sent my best friend off to her death and she thinks it was me being great? _ ” Oikawa scoffed and Iwaizumi glared at him. But both of them couldn’t find it in each other to argue, not when they knew [Name] was no longer here to stop them. There was no voice of reason that would exasperatingly ask them to stop. There was no one to tell them that they were being like children and they were now commanders of their respective posts and should act as such. 

 

Iwaizumi looked away, turning his gaze away from Oikawa, only to be surprised by the view of the window from his current position. For the first time in months, the skies above were cloudless. They could see the moon as its reflective light filtered through the window and he was speechless. It was so… familiar, so soothing and it set his mind at ease. 

 

But even so, he couldn’t help but wish that maybe… just maybe, it could have been the three of them sitting together as they admired the brilliance of their world and the life around them.


End file.
